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Men

TEN COMMANDMENTS: THE ACCESSORY BY JW ANDERSON

Wednesday 2nd January 2019

If this JW Anderson doughnut-a-like key ring could speak… “My name is Sprinkles the doughnut and I’m an alcoholic… There, I said it. It’s been a long time coming, but now I can nally admit to you, dear shoppers and other like-minded key trinkets, that I like – scrap that, I LOVE – booze. And lots of it. I guess you could call me a party doughnut. I’m always the first doughnut key ring at the bar and always, always the first on the dance floor. The good thing about me is I’m easy to take along to any party. I’m a bit like that friend you always invite to a family wedding – I liven things up, have too much to drink and try to snog a barmaid or the best man. Being such a striking doughnut key ring has its problems, though. I’m being very honest with you now. When you’re bubble- gum pink with sprinkles, people tend to stare. Folk have crossed the street before now to ask about me. But the biggest disadvantage is that people expect me to be the party-doughnut key ring 24/7, and I have to tell you it’s exhausting. I’m cursed with PTF – Party Time Face – people just want you to cheer them up all the time. My look says ‘fun’, ‘cheeky’ and ‘always brings a bottle’. That’s probably what drove me to the drink. But now I’m sober. I’m your non-party party-doughnut key ring and I am completely incredible.”

by Richard Gray

Taken from the new issue of 10 Men, on newsstands now.

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